Ask Grandstander

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by perfectstormhits

What's her problem?

Lice.

[vtred]

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

apples vs. oranges?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by vtred

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

apples vs. oranges?

The subjective judgment would be a matter of private tastes, the objective one then would have to come down to symbolism. Let's do the scorecard:

Apples: Garden of Eden, Johnny Appleseed, home computers, Beatle records,

Oranges: Bowl game in Miami, Anita Bryant, Dutch free state, Irish protestants.

So, as individual matchups, we might have:
Johnny Appleseed vs Anita Bryant....winner, JA.
Garden of Eden vs Orange Bowl...winner..Garden
Home computers vs Irish protestants...winner, home computers
Beatle records vs Dutch free state....winner, Beatles records.

So.....Appples in a landslide.

[canesfan68]

Is it just me or is Vicodin just the greatest pain medicine??

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by canesfan68

Is it just me or is Vicodin just the greatest pain medicine??

I wouldn't know. It is a precept of Krom that we embrace our pain and use it to make ourselves stronger.

[phenweigh]

purgatory vs limbo

[sebboH]

Ben Stein a creationist? Should I not be surprised?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by phenweigh

purgatory vs limbo

When I was a wee one and still believing the spiritualistic nonsense being presented to me, I thought that it was highly unfair that some kids got to die in infancy and avoid hell without ever having to have passed throught the trial of life. How was that fair? Instant promotion to eternal paradise?

Ah! The institutional mind had already considered this and the church came up with the answer. Despite zero evidence for such places existing, they invented these afterlife waiting rooms, one good and one you really would rather skip. Purgatory was the punishment room where you paid for your sins before finally getting your ticket to perpetual euphoria punched. It was marketed as something of a mini-hell, suffering, but not the despair associated with eternal damnation. Limbo on the other hand was sold as every bit as good as heaven save one thing, you didn't get to see the face of GOD. Well, hell, or heck, I thought, what was the big fiery deal about seeing the face of GOD that you couldn't wait it out in some otherwise delightful state?

So, the church tried to sooth my unhappiness over some people getting the bliss without having to endure any pain, with this supposed drawback. And it didn't work at all. I could not conceptialize how there would be any agony associated with having to wait until judgment day to see the face of GOD as long as I was able to do my time in the Limbo Arms. That sounded like a great deal to me I felt myself hideously cheated by not having been aborted or run over by a truck at age two months or something.

Later, when I was older and had become my smartass self in school, I challenged the priests, brothers and nuns to present their evedince that Jesus ever suggested places such as Purgatory and Limbo, much less outlined the rules for admission and graduation. And of course since it all was just crap that someone made up, they could not do so. They had to fall back on the old tried and never true, it's so because we're the church and we say it's so.

So there.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by sebboH

Ben Stein a creationist? Should I not be surprised?

We should compile a list of disappointments that form and describe the above phenomena. I reference the seemingly sharp who turn out to be fuddy duddys.

1) Steve Allen...in his later years he decided that nothing about television should change from the era in which he was last a star. To that end he launched some Decency on TV movement, taking out full page ads in the newspapers where he decried every progressive triumph over the obstructions of the prudes. He was already near the red line for me simply because of his airheaded wife who was pretty much Ed McMahon with tits, and this shoved him over.

2) Andy van Slyke...during his playing days, he was the go to guy for quotes and he was very impressive with his wit. I recall his describing playing centerfield in a game against Lenny Dystra as having to pick your way around a nuclear waste dump. His lines had that sort of biting quality, thus I was shocked to discover that after his career ended, he became the head of Baseball Chapel, the organized Jesus freak wing of MLB Bible thumpers.


3) Jerry Rubin...went from "property is a crime" revolutionary to Wall Street broker.

4) Jane Fonda....went from sex kitten to revolutionary to exercise guru to haus frau to Jesus.

4) And now Ben Stein. I guess his savant ability is memory, not analysis.

[skrable]

michael medved, co-writer of the golden turkey awards

or

michael medved, right-wing buffoon

[phenweigh]

Originally Posted by Grandstander

Ed McMahon with tits

It's hard to tell since I think I've only seen Ed wearing a sports jacket, but I'm guessing he probably has a decent set of man-tits.


high-jump vs limbo

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by skrable

michael medved, co-writer of the golden turkey awards

or

michael medved, right-wing buffoon

Very good, certainly makes the Disappointments List. Since I posted the concept, I also thought of Jay Leno who used to be funny before surrendering his edge upon getting the Tonight Show gig. And of course we need to add Ted Nugent whose journey to the center of his mind ultimately deposited him in Gun FunLand.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by phenweigh

It's hard to tell since I think I've only seen Ed wearing a sports jacket, but I'm guessing he probably has a decent set of man-tits.


high-jump vs limbo

By coincidence, you have mentioned two endeavors in which I had small, ephemeral triumphs at age 14. At an extended family gathering beach party in Gulf Breeze, since the Limbo craze was at it's height, someone organized a Limbo contest, who could pass under the lowest setting. Among around 25 contestants, I prevailed by sinking the lowest. That same year I also captured my freshman year high jump title at our school "Olympics" by inexplicably clearing a height that I never came close to clearing at anytime before or after, a true fluke.

Those were the glory days, it's been all downhill since.

[ctjayfan]

Is it true that Paulson caused the Dow Jones index to jump 936 points yesterday, its biggest one-day gain in history?

And...

While Paulson will never admit it, the plan to buy the banks was originally supported by the Democrats, because we all know that Government ownership of the banks is a hallmark of socialism and that ALL DEMS are basically "socialists"? Right?

Now the reaction of the Republican rank and file has yet to come, but IF some or most agree with this Paulson Plan, will that make the GOPers "socialists" as well?

This 3rd Presidential Debate should be interesting IF this comes up...

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by ctjayfan

Is it true that Paulson caused the Dow Jones index to jump 936 points yesterday, its biggest one-day gain in history?

And...

While Paulson will never admit it, the plan to buy the banks was originally supported by the Democrats, because we all know that Government ownership of the banks is a hallmark of socialism and that ALL DEMS are basically "socialists"? Right?

Now the reaction of the Republican rank and file has yet to come, but IF some or most agree with this Paulson Plan, will that make the GOPers "socialists" as well?

This 3rd Presidential Debate should be interesting IF this comes up...

I believe you have the wrong board for this.