Ask Grandstander

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by vtred

Back from 2 weeks in Hawaii...

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

Alaska vs. Hawaii?

Welcome back.

Hawaii was more fun because they had an indigenous people to deceive and exploit, while Alaska was largely an empty frontier. In terms of current worth, I guess it's a matter of which you think more important, gassing up your car or drinking pineapple juice. Well, I guess pineapple juice and all that sugar for your soda pop.

[LongtimeBravesFan]

How come wounded never arrived at the 4077th when everyone was drunk?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan

How come wounded never arrived at the 4077th when everyone was drunk?

The two major differences between actual life and life depicted in entertainment are: 1) In entertainment there is always parking right where you need it. and 2) Perfect chronology to keep things interesting. It isn't just MASH and it isn't just the wounded arriving at appropriate intervals, it's everything. When does the phone ring with some new information which moves the plot along? Exactly when the characters on the screen have finished discussing whatever they were discussing. New people always enter a place just as now superfluous people exit. People wait to die until the main character has time to finish off the bad guys and rush to the afficted in time to exchange a few emotions and watch the eyes close. People in cars seeking specific news who flip on the radio, always do so just as the announcer is beginning the story desired.

They have to do it this way, otherwise the plot will big down, cohesion will be lost, audiences will become impatient. I mean, you can't have a character leave a room, then show the remaining character sitting there for ten minutes until the phone rings.

[canesfan68]

Will I ever get used to my niece driving now that she's gotten her license?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by canesfan68

Will I ever get used to my niece driving now that she's gotten her license?

I know what you mean, but keep in mind that we all were once your niece, that person we still conceive of as a child even when that person becomes an adult. It goes away when the "child" enters his or her '30's for aunts and uncles, it sometimes never goes away for parents.

[canesfan68]

That's just it. I'm basically her parent. Long story but I'm raising my niece and nephew.

Thanks for the advice Grand.. it's good to see you again.

[jtur88]

You once argued that inanimate objects and even some dumb organiisms do not care what happens to them. But, after an overthrow in the infield, the Twins announcer today said "That ball was lucky it did not go into the stands". Would evidence like that make you rethink your position?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by jtur88

You once argued that inanimate objects and even some dumb organiisms do not care what happens to them. But, after an overthrow in the infield, the Twins announcer today said "That ball was lucky it did not go into the stands". Would evidence like that make you rethink your position?

Nah, I'm going to argue that the ball was overthrown, but deliberately overthrown to such a degree that it would elude the firstbaseman, but not travel as far as the stands. Thus the ball was the victim of design rather than random fortune.

[LongtimeBravesFan]

Has the fund raising arm of Granstander, Inc. begun to raise funds for your trip to the Ukraine to measure the tall guy?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan

Has the fund raising arm of Granstander, Inc. begun to raise funds for your trip to the Ukraine to measure the tall guy?

Of course not. We are using the money to build skrable a super tall costume in anticipation of making our own claims to the record.

[canesfan68]

Is there possibly a question that you have not been asked over the years?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by canesfan68

Is there possibly a question that you have not been asked over the years?

This was it, the last question remaining which hadn't been asked.

Now everything has been asked.

[skrable]

I mean, you can't have a character leave a room, then show the remaining character sitting there for ten minutes until the phone rings.

you can on cbs

[LongtimeBravesFan]

Any thoughts on the passing of Gene Upshaw?

[Wiggen]

Who was the sidekick, Rocket J. Squirrel or Bullwinkle the Moose? I know RJ was smarter, but is it always the dumbest one that is the sidekick?