Ask Grandstander

[skrable]

great news boss! we've found some sucker to buy that worn out couch you've had for weeks on the drawbridge with the u take it; u have it" sign.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by skrable

great news boss! we've found some sucker to buy that worn out couch you've had for weeks on the drawbridge with the u take it; u have it" sign.

Good...tell em that it's an antique, came from....oh.....Oh!..."The White House." Say that President Pierce used to nap on that couch or...better, Grant used to nap on it, that way we can can claim all those holes were burned by his cigar ashes.

[skrable]

The bungee jumping thrill ride atop GrandTower doesn't seem to be getting many repeat customers

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by skrable

The bungee jumping thrill ride atop GrandTower doesn't seem to be getting many repeat customers

I knew putting you in charge of that would be a mistake. Once more..bunjee jumping means jumping with a bunjee cord, it's not "Jumping for bunjees"

[vtred]

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

Pirates who traded with the Yankees vs. Indians who traded with Peter Minuit?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by vtred

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

Pirates who traded with the Yankees vs. Indians who traded with Peter Minuit?

That will depend upon Jose Tabata, Dan McCutchen, Jeff Karstens and Ross Ohlendorf turning out to be worth more than 24 bucks collectively.

Which reminds me....I have always heard and seen 24 dollars worth of beads and baubles listed as the Manhattan selling price, but where did they come up with that? How was it determined that the crap the Indians got was worth 24 dollars? First of all, there was no such thing as a dollar at the time of the purchase, so how the hell can anyone figure out how many of them formed the value of the beads? And it is never clear, are we speaking of 24 dollars in 17th century value or is this one of those deals where today those 24 bucks would be worth 40 million or something?

And while we are on the subject, I have been disappointed that the Padres have scattered their young players from the early part of the decade. Somewhere back in cyberspace is one of my earliest posts on FanHome and it was one devoted to pointing out that the Padres had the potential for fielding one of the all time great weird name teams. I had reviewed their minor league roster and noted that it was loaded with guys with names like Xavier Nady, Khalil Green, Wascar Serrano, Cesar Crespo, Wiki Gonzalez, Desi Relaford, Humberto Quintero...they had enough to fill out the entire starting eight with nary a Bob Smith or Jim Williams to be found, not even a Carlos Hernandez. I was predicting that by 2003, the Padres would be challenging the 1983 Marniers for the all time Name Oddity crown. ('83 was the year that Seattle decided to confuse the hell out of everyone by having everyone on the roster with more or less the same name as someone else on the roster.)

Alas...it was not meant to be. The Pads traded their young guys all over the league and they never fielded that dream team of all weird name guys.

[perfectstormhits]

Beethoven vs. Mozart?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by perfectstormhits

Beethoven vs. Mozart?

Amadeus was much more entertaining than those dumb dog flicks.

[JoseA]

Have you missed me mister Grandstander?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by JoseA

Have you missed me mister Grandstander?

You bet, no one else thinks to treat me with the respect shown by your addressing me as "Mister" Grandstander.

[LongtimeBravesFan]

Weeping vs. gnashing of teeth?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan

Weeping vs. gnashing of teeth?

Oh, definitely the teeth gnashing, that was always one of my favorite images from the gospels when I was a kid. The biblical and parable figures who came to grief, typically wound up being cast into the darkness where there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, it was standard behavior for the wretched.

There is something about being specific about the form of someone's mortification that I enjoy. Back in the early '70's, for a time, I could receive Radio Peking which was an English language Red Chinese propaganda station. There were allways these moral fables about how the mighty had been humbled for some transgression against the teachings of Mao. One show was devoted to the disgrace of some former high level government administrator whose devotion to Mao was apparently insufficient. The announcer told us that he once ran a bureau with thousands of workers, now he was a humble gardener in the Pharphlung province where he "toils under the sun all day, his face a mask of shame."

[vtred]

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

25th amendment tag team:

Harry Truman/Gerald Ford vs. Calvin Coolidge/Lyndon Johnson?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by vtred

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

25th amendment tag team:

Harry Truman/Gerald Ford vs. Calvin Coolidge/Lyndon Johnson?

Either of those tag teams would get a whuppin' put on em by the John Tyler/Andrew Johnson pairing. Tyler was a closet Democrat serving as a Whig president, Johnson was an actual Democrat serving as a GOP president. It requires no great imagination to see that these are formulas for disasters and indeed, that is how they unfolded. Tyler is the only president to be expelled from his own party while serving in the White House, Johnson they tried to expell from the office itself.

As the first to be elevated to the presidency though not elected to that office, Tyler was called "His Accidentcy" and in the pre 15th ammendment days, there was a real question as to whether he was the president for the rest of Harrison's term, or he was merely "acting president", an office caretaker until a special election could be organized. Johnson was only on the ballot because the GOP needed to attract Democrat votes in the North and Andrew had established himself as some sort of symbol by being the only Senator from a rebelling state who remained loyal to the Union. No one wanted him to be president and they were justified in these views, Johnson was not a good man for the job. Ill tempered, an inflexible black/white thinker, a drinker who could not hold his booze and no friend of the freed slaves, Johnson wanted to conduct reconstruction by himself and wanted to act as though there had been no war and everything was just as it was before the hostilities. In short, Johnson's notion was that the four years of blood and treasure invested in the war, were for nothing.

[phenweigh]

Adlai Ewing Stevenson I vs Adlai Ewing Stevenson II