Ask Grandstander

[LongtimeBravesFan]

Did you ever have a priest make a pass at you during your alter boy career or hear of a priest to avoid being trapped in the confessional with?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan

Did you ever have a priest make a pass at you during your alter boy career or hear of a priest to avoid being trapped in the confessional with?

No, I have neither personal experience with any abusive priests, nor did I know of anything like that taking place at the parrish during the years I was a member. So, either nothing like that happened, or it was effectively concealed if it did.

As for selecting the priest to hear my confession, I favored Father Miguel Gomez, a Cuban refugee who spoke almost no English. If Father Gomez wasn't available, I aimed for Father Grequois, a French Canadian priest who had wound up assigned to our place. He also didn't fully grasp English, his sermons were amusing because of this, he used to ask us to pray for the "sick and diseased" of the parrish rather than the sick and deceased. He was put in charge of the altar boys annual picnic the last year I was there and he told us we would be having "hot dogs and chips of the potato."

And if neither Gomez nor Greguois was around, there was always Monsignor Geary who was the former pastor of the whole works, but was now about 350 years old and had drifted into a somewhat demented state of mind. They kept him around just to take care of him, sticking him in the confessional booth being one way keep him out of trouble for hours with no one having to watch him.

As a side note, I'll add that Monsignor Geary died in the line of duty. I wasn't there when it happened, but he was saying the one mass a week he was allowed, or could stand, he was facing the altar, genuflected....and never got back up, just keeled on over.

[vtred]

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

"Puff the Magic Dragon" vs. "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds"?

[Simp]

"Sir" Paul McCartney? "Sir" Elton John? Have they gotten too liberal with knighthoods or has it always been kinda frivolous?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by vtred

Weekly "what if" fight match-up:

"Puff the Magic Dragon" vs. "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds"?

The deciding factor is the credibility of denial regarding the song's association with drugs.

I can believe P,P & M when they say there was no intention of writing anything but a children's song. "Puff" contains a child's narrative and centers on easily recognizable childish fantasies, a boy and his dragon buddy. It's obviously a song about growing up and all the drug stuff was invented after the fact.

"Lucy In the Sky" on the other hand, if it isn't about LSD, then it isn't about anything. Lennon tried to claim it was inspired by some drawing made by his son, but of course we must be suspicious that all the imagery contained in Lucy could have possibly been found in a child's drawing. And we must believe that it is coincidence that the LSD initials are employed. And we must believe that Lennon, who was an LSD enthusiast in those days, wasn't aware of the amazing coincidence. And we must believe that a child's drawing just happened to contain all sorts of classic imagery associated with dropping acid.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by Simp

"Sir" Paul McCartney? "Sir" Elton John? Have they gotten too liberal with knighthoods or has it always been kinda frivolous?

I do not believe it is possible to hand out either too many, or not enough, puffery style honors. The powerless monarchy bestows a powerless title on someone, largely because they have become wealthy while pursuing their careers. What is the critical difference between "Sir" Anthony Hopkins and Anthony Hopkins?

I'm something of an anti-titlest, not even wanting my nieces and nephews to address me as "Uncle Grandstander." I suspect that the Bumper Sticker reductionist theory comes into play here. People want titles, even want other people to have titles, for handy reference points and the instant establishment of seeming legitimacy. If you have some ignoble job, if you are an office flunky and your actual job is to run whatever errands arise in the course of the workday, it seems less depressing if you can tell people that you are the Implemintation Facilitator. "Executve Assistant" radiates greater status than "secretary" even if the duties are identical. A garbage man picks up trash, but so does a "Sanitation Engineer." Titles can change an undistinguished resume into a seeming career.

[skrable]

how important is curiosity?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by skrable

how important is curiosity?

You don't want to know.

[perfectstormhits]

Which MLB team will Joe Torre be managing next year?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by perfectstormhits

Which MLB team will Joe Torre be managing next year?

It's 6-1 Cleveland in the 6th as I type. If that holds up, I'm hoping that right after the last out, Steinbrenner has some beefy security guards sieze Torre and escort him across the field and throw him out of the stadium....maybe cut the uniform buttons off his shirt first, throw his cap in the dirt and spit on it...and the scoreboard is flashing "You're Fired, Loser! Thanks For Nothing."

Ooop....6-2 now.

We must wait and see.

[heyterry]

Why did they make the Geiko gekko (sic?) have a British accent?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by heyterry

Why did they make the Geiko gekko (sic?) have a British accent?

Lenny Bruce once commented that he could never associate the theory of relativity with a southern accent. In the same manner, Americans tend to automatically assume an extra 35 IQ points for speakers with British accents.

[Zen653]

What's your favorite poem?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by Zen653

What's your favorite poem?

A Poem on the Underground Wall

The last train is nearly due,
The underground is closing soon,
And in the dark deserted station,
Restless in anticipation,
A man waits in the shadows.

His restless eyes leap and snatch,
At all that they can touch or catch,
And hidden deep within his pocket,
Safe within its silent socket,
He holds a coloured crayon.

Now from the tunnel's stony womb,
The carriage rides to meet the groom,
And opens wide the welcome doors,
But he hesitates, then withdraws
Deeper in the shadows.

And the train is gone suddenly.
On wheels clicking silently
Like a gently tapping litany,
And he holds his crayon rosary
Tighter in his hand.

Now from his pocket quick he flashes,
The crayon on the wall he slashes,
Deep upon the advertising,
A single-worded poem comprising
Four letters.

And his heart is laughing, screaming, pounding,
The poem across the tracks resounding,
Shadowed by the exit light
His legs take their ascending flight
To seek the breast of darkness and be suckled by the night.

-- Paul Simon

[jtur88]

Why does the World series start 13 days after the beginning of the 7-game LCS, and
Where is there more likely to be a blizzard on November 1, Cleveland or Boston, and
If weather conditions are unplayable, is it more likely that MLB will move all future World Series to a neutal site, like the super bowl, or back to October?