Ask Grandstander

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by bigheadache

What's your favorite malaprop?

I have a soft spot for former pitcher Joaquin Andujar who was gifted in this area. He had many such moments, but his best is when he once concluded a story to a reporter by saying "You never know. My favorite word in the English language is 'You never know'." When it was pointed out to him that this made no sense, Joaquin corrected himself: "I meant to say that one word says it all, 'You never know'."

[skrable]

I have a recently purchased computer. My old computer is sitting on the floor of my den. What is the most efficient way of legally disposing of my old computer, while still protecting myself from someone stealing the information in its memory banks?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by skrable

I have a recently purchased computer. My old computer is sitting on the floor of my den. What is the most efficient way of legally disposing of my old computer, while still protecting myself from someone stealing the information in its memory banks?

Sell it to a really old person.

[phenweigh]

What is your favorite Moody Blues song?

[bigheadache]

When you are moody do you get the blues?

[JoseA]

Do you live a lush life?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by phenweigh

What is your favorite Moody Blues song?

It was "Story In Your Eyes", but then late in their career they came up with "Wildest Dreams" which I like as well as Story.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by bigheadache

When you are moody do you get the blues?

I'm a maverick, I get the greens.

[renny]

Hey, grandstander, why didn't yo' momma name you grandsitter or even grandlaydowner?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by JoseA

Do you live a lush life?

As in alcoholic? No, I don't drink.

Or lush as in plush? In that case, also no. I'm not sure how to rate my lifestyle. On the one hand I'm a shameless hedonist who indulges every desire, on the other hand the lifestyle I do desire does not cost much or feature any luxuries.

To illustrate....I could afford to buy myself a very nice watch if I wanted one, but it would never dawn on me to sink any money into a time piece beyond what it takes to get a working watch. That's all a watch is to me, something which provides the time of day when I need it. If the world was all me, no one would own a decorative watch because it would not occur to anyone that this also needed to be a decoration.

Apply that mentality to an entire lifestyle...and you have me.

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by renny

Hey, grandstander, why didn't yo' momma name you grandsitter or even grandlaydowner?

Because on my home planet, we are raised to stand on our own two pods.

[bigheadache]

Was Jesus really a capricorn?

[Grandstander]

Originally Posted by bigheadache

Was Jesus really a capricorn?

Sorry, there are just too many Alous for me to keep track of all their birthdays.

[JoseA]

Do you like roman noodles?

[Zen653]

Because on my home planet, we are raised to stand on our own two pods.

Don't women prefer tripods?