[Nighthawk]

Well, it had to happen. Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now - fiercely aspirational as ever - she has graduated to being a terrible director. She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens. She is also the producer and co-author of the script. If she'd done the location catering as well, they'd have had a Jonestown situation on their hands.

Filth and Wisdom, Berlin Film Festival | Features | guardian.co.uk Film

Hilarious. I'm no fan of the Guardian, but read the whole thing. It's fantastic.